BRUSSELS (The Borowitz Report)—A ten-year European plan to gradually phase out American football in the United States and replace it with soccer is “very much on track,” a spokesman for the European Union confirmed today. The E.U. spokesman, Alf-Jergen Holmboe, said the replacement of American football with soccer was the third in a three-step plan to transform the U.S. into a European country. “The first two steps were electing a socialist President and instituting national health care,” he said. “Once soccer replaces football, our work will be done.” Holmboe said that the E.U. could take no credit for the legalization … Continua a leggere EUsa or eUSA?